I suppose I should realy start, right at the beginning, as I remember it. My first memeories of cross dressing began when I was about 9-10, no sisters, so had to borrough mums, and mum was in no way, a slim woman then. This was the extent of things for oh so long.


1987, and sick of the confusion of not knowing or understanding my feelings, I joined up, more of a ProvI'm a Man sort of thiong thatn anything else. 5 years of piece and quiet, no needs to be dressed as a  woman, 1992 comes around, and cut backs to Armed forces, and we end up getting amalgamated, to another senior cavalry regiment, also out in Germany. But we were coming up for a UK rotation, what were we going to do, well, it was going to be a 4 year wait, and oh what a 4 years it was going to be.

I was out one day, just out for a drive, when I came upon a shop, middle of nowhere, no idea why, I just parked up, and went in, Admittedly, most Sqaddies of the time wouldn't so quick to go into a German shop, without knowing whether or not they spoke English, but hey, I had got pretty good at the German, even had a German, admittedly was a  Bavarian accent, but set me asside from the average Brit thast could speak German. but this wasn't a normal shop, it was a transgendered shop, I was in heaven, there was loads of stuff in there that I needed, stuff to feminise me, so straight away, I bought a pair of breast forms, a couple of bra's, and a corset.


So over the next couple of months, I picked up make up, and some more outfits. Luckily I had my own room on camp, so could work on my make up, AKA slap?? with no worries of being seen. But, after a while of this, got pretty good, and could do my face in 5 mins. Also, after a while of this, I just needed to get out and about, so I did.


Luckily, to get into town, we could either just follow the road into town, or drop down and follow the dry river, I used to drop down, as there were lights just by the bridge, made it easier to do my make up, which I could now do in 5 mins, then followed by a 5 min walk in town, to a lovely gay bar.

This went on for the next 4 years, until I left the army, and became a civilian, worst part is, as I was on close down, to leaving the army, I found out I could transition in the army and stay in the army, as due to my ignorance, I thought the army considered Transgendered, the same way they treated gay's, in those day's, and kicked them out.


So September 1996 turns up, and am now a civilian. Lived at parents for a couple of months, then, am out one night, at Madam Jo-Jo's in Soho, and met Sarah, a lovely genetic, that I ended up sharing a house with, but not living with. I met her as a girl, shared the house as a girl, apart from having to go out to work, as a guy, every day, and that was boring as hell. Security.


This went on for a while work, going out once a month or so, a bit more work, then realisation, Security isn't for me. Landed a job in the Shepherds Bush area, manager, car hire firm, now able to get out once a month, but, the house fell through, landlord sold it, given our notice, so moved back in with Family, good thing about car hire job, lovely knicker shop, 2 doors down. Was in there pretty reg, chatting to one of the girls there, then, one Friday, the girls  got some new bodies in, saw one, was trying it on, then heard a girl, outside the changing room, chatting, then heard it, she was into transwomen, so, got changed back into work suit, came out, said hello to the female, then started one of those mega mistakes we all make now and then. Started a relationship with somebody that was only interested in what, not who I am. Went out a couple of times, I went to gigs with her, she came out to an awesome trans club in east London a couple of times with me, but then, one night, we met another tgirl, that was going to cause oh so much trouble between us. Things happened between the 3 of us, got a few shoots for a Trans Mag done, That FEMALE, ended up writing a column on it, as I started having feelings for her, she turns around, and although I'm a llovely person, the sex is fantastic, she doesn't want to see me anymore. 2 weeks later she's seeing the other tgirl, and with that, I am scared of dressing, so yet another 'Detox' (non-dressing) period


A couple of months along, am at Teds, in Northend road, a lovely little gay bar, that, twice a week, welcomes tgirls and their admirers, am having a detox period, to say that am not dressing at the mo. So am there as a bloke, meet a lovely pre-op girl, see each other a couple of times, then I move in with her. Then, chatting with her mates boyfriend, get a Job at a certain Drink's Delivery firm in Park Royal, then one night, after she had had her 'mones changed at CX, we have a blow up, she pulls one of my kitchen knives on me, doesn't get chance to do anything, she ends up on te floor, me astride her, pinfall fashion, waiting for police, so that I can get away from her safely, they turn up, I get away, end of things between us, which was good, as beginning of May, 2001, Liverpool beat Arsenal in the FA cup final, with the assistance of a certain Young Norwegian player, just starting out at the Arsenal?

1 week later, a certain beautiful woman walked into my local wearing a crappy yellow shirt, with Rocastle on the back? 45 mins later, I am getting slapped around the back of my head, by my mother, for kissing her said beauty, and mother stating, you shouldn't do that in here?
1 year later, we are Mr and Mrs, just after a year later, we are parents, to the unbelievable lovely Connie
Jane goes back to work after maternity, and I'm at home, a stay at home father, some would say. me being me, say, playing at being the house wife? do this for about a month, when feelings and needs return, I start to dress again, I pick Jane up that night, we put Connie to bed, then I tell Jane, the start of a long tearful night. I end up taking a walk, while I am out, Jane calls a Gay and Lesbian help line, back then Gay and Lesbian Help line's never considered Trans as being part of the same community, we played at being women, with womens needs, so women go with guy's, perfectly hetero. However? those out of the scene, confused straights, could only see a guy wearing a dress, going with guy's If thats the case, then why are trans, legaly treated as woman, we have to use the ladies toilets, by law, Trans Males have to use the Gents, where as there are no laws saying which toilets genetic male and females have to use 










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