29-09-2013
Have just received a mail, of D, that caused me indirect confusion. He caused me to think back, on how I had thought about things and people. I had alway's thought, that before, I was only interested in women, but looking back, over things, over people, that one or two people may have caused me, to think about sexuality, to whether or not it was women or men I was interested in. So have realised, that maybe, even then, back in Sunny Detmold, when I looked at D, it may have been for other reasons.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 29 September 2013
Saturday 28 September 2013
28-09-2013
Yesterday, I forgot to take my HRT, in the Morning. The effect are oh so scary, I get oh so emotional. was thinking about D all day, this Is weird, we haven't seen each other since Germany, even then, yes we knew other, but were never close, the thing with D, he's alway's seemed to have barriers up, We get back in contact, I was open about everything, hell, would be difficult to hide anything about me wouldn't it. I know its been over 2 years since I was involved with a guy, back then it was purely sexual, never anything emotional, only person I've been emotional with was and is J. So why the hell am I getting emo about a guy I haven't seen in nearly 20 year's?
After the way I have been feeling over the last couple of day's, I may suddenly add, after I have posted, why, because the next couple of months are going to OH so intense for me, as I countdown to my Surgery. Not many actually realise how serious a surgery GRS is. Imagine the 2 main arteries in the body being redirected, cut, then con-joined, then approximately 4-8oz of human flesh being removed, then about 10 inches of flesh being con-joined again, in an area that flesh isn't. One part of the body becoming 2, then being placed, approximately 5-7inches from where it was meant to be, Following Video contains Human Surgery
.http://uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqItdVkdSzRcAp1p2BQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg--?p=gender+reassignment+surgery&vid=9ebf483092497ab318a4fc03dcf40868&l=7%3A30&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4858532592878068%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBjqlcLCiU2Q&tit=New+refinements+in+Male-to-Female+reassignment+surgery&c=1&sigr=11a347nhi&age=0&&tt=b
Have wanted to add at some stage, this was the only time that it would be correct.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Yesterday, I forgot to take my HRT, in the Morning. The effect are oh so scary, I get oh so emotional. was thinking about D all day, this Is weird, we haven't seen each other since Germany, even then, yes we knew other, but were never close, the thing with D, he's alway's seemed to have barriers up, We get back in contact, I was open about everything, hell, would be difficult to hide anything about me wouldn't it. I know its been over 2 years since I was involved with a guy, back then it was purely sexual, never anything emotional, only person I've been emotional with was and is J. So why the hell am I getting emo about a guy I haven't seen in nearly 20 year's?
After the way I have been feeling over the last couple of day's, I may suddenly add, after I have posted, why, because the next couple of months are going to OH so intense for me, as I countdown to my Surgery. Not many actually realise how serious a surgery GRS is. Imagine the 2 main arteries in the body being redirected, cut, then con-joined, then approximately 4-8oz of human flesh being removed, then about 10 inches of flesh being con-joined again, in an area that flesh isn't. One part of the body becoming 2, then being placed, approximately 5-7inches from where it was meant to be, Following Video contains Human Surgery
.http://uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqItdVkdSzRcAp1p2BQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg--?p=gender+reassignment+surgery&vid=9ebf483092497ab318a4fc03dcf40868&l=7%3A30&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4858532592878068%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBjqlcLCiU2Q&tit=New+refinements+in+Male-to-Female+reassignment+surgery&c=1&sigr=11a347nhi&age=0&&tt=b
Have wanted to add at some stage, this was the only time that it would be correct.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Thursday 26 September 2013
26-09-2013
Ah well, I guess I had better start plans in another direction. find out whether or not they are actually free from any hindrances, I meant, not likely to cause upset in anyway. That the last thing I have wanted in my life, to hurt anybody, as that is the last thing I have ever wanted, to be hurt. But then, is one of the few Christian Morales I have lived by, but is in fact one of the greatest morals of the Muslim Faith too, Do Unto Others, As You Would Them Unto You, things would be oh so much easier, if we all lived by those same morals too?
I guess that should also teach me, that not all males drop all at a drop of a hat, for the chance of sex, as I was saying before, would have been interesting with D, could be that we ended up naked in bed, then just laughing our heads of at the Lads from the regiment, how most have been completely ok about the new me. All but those 3 idiots, hope fully that main idiot won't be at Remembrance again, but hey, am I worried, he couldn't hurt me at DT or PB, sure as hell can't hurt me now?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Ah well, I guess I had better start plans in another direction. find out whether or not they are actually free from any hindrances, I meant, not likely to cause upset in anyway. That the last thing I have wanted in my life, to hurt anybody, as that is the last thing I have ever wanted, to be hurt. But then, is one of the few Christian Morales I have lived by, but is in fact one of the greatest morals of the Muslim Faith too, Do Unto Others, As You Would Them Unto You, things would be oh so much easier, if we all lived by those same morals too?
I guess that should also teach me, that not all males drop all at a drop of a hat, for the chance of sex, as I was saying before, would have been interesting with D, could be that we ended up naked in bed, then just laughing our heads of at the Lads from the regiment, how most have been completely ok about the new me. All but those 3 idiots, hope fully that main idiot won't be at Remembrance again, but hey, am I worried, he couldn't hurt me at DT or PB, sure as hell can't hurt me now?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Tuesday 24 September 2013
25-09-2013
Ah well, I went and told him. Doh, he's married, and yes I think that's what it may have been, the higher level of understanding, of the pressures, we have had to face, the level of understanding. But, he didn't say it wouldn't happen though? But D, you know full well I won't come in between you both? There I mentioned him??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Ah well, I went and told him. Doh, he's married, and yes I think that's what it may have been, the higher level of understanding, of the pressures, we have had to face, the level of understanding. But, he didn't say it wouldn't happen though? But D, you know full well I won't come in between you both? There I mentioned him??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
24-09-2013
OMG, weird time again, a certain somebody is getting in even more contact, can't say who it is, as he will quickly realise , that he is one of the 2 possible's, that'll take my virginity, be the only guy? But why is it, why are the 2 possibles, both ex forces, is it because of my history too, knowing that I won't hurt them, physically or emotionally, both have the strength to handle my emotion's. God, getting weird again, worrying about other people emotions, or did I?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
OMG, weird time again, a certain somebody is getting in even more contact, can't say who it is, as he will quickly realise , that he is one of the 2 possible's, that'll take my virginity, be the only guy? But why is it, why are the 2 possibles, both ex forces, is it because of my history too, knowing that I won't hurt them, physically or emotionally, both have the strength to handle my emotion's. God, getting weird again, worrying about other people emotions, or did I?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 22 September 2013
22-09-2013
Things are getting oh so much weirder, but from a different angle, yes, am awaiting GRS, however, that may make me physically a woman, but will alway's legally, be a male. Oh so need to get GRC'd, to get all my documentation feminised, sounds stupid, but the one piece, I want changing most of all, is my NI Number, because once I have that, means I have my new birth certificate, and that means the new life for Amanda Maroulis, a new beginning?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are getting oh so much weirder, but from a different angle, yes, am awaiting GRS, however, that may make me physically a woman, but will alway's legally, be a male. Oh so need to get GRC'd, to get all my documentation feminised, sounds stupid, but the one piece, I want changing most of all, is my NI Number, because once I have that, means I have my new birth certificate, and that means the new life for Amanda Maroulis, a new beginning?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 15 September 2013
15-09-2013
Things are starting to get complicated for me, as much as I love J, and god I do, I need some attention too, I need to be given hugs, and kisses and stuff, is oh so difficult having to ask for them all the time, hilarious part is, I'm oh so not bothered about the physical side of things, but the emotional side, I do need that?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are starting to get complicated for me, as much as I love J, and god I do, I need some attention too, I need to be given hugs, and kisses and stuff, is oh so difficult having to ask for them all the time, hilarious part is, I'm oh so not bothered about the physical side of things, but the emotional side, I do need that?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 13 September 2013
13-09-2013
I don't believe it, I thought I would be ok about waiting, have been given the go ahead, will be getting the surgery I so need, but no, I want it tomorrow. going off to parents in a mo, will see if I have any post, grab my brush, so doubt I'll be having a date yet, even for meeting with Mr B, just hope I get it in London, not Briton, so that those closest can visit?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
I don't believe it, I thought I would be ok about waiting, have been given the go ahead, will be getting the surgery I so need, but no, I want it tomorrow. going off to parents in a mo, will see if I have any post, grab my brush, so doubt I'll be having a date yet, even for meeting with Mr B, just hope I get it in London, not Briton, so that those closest can visit?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Monday 9 September 2013
09-09-2013
Barely a week since I get my go ahead for my surgery, was in CX again today, and find out, might only be a 6 month wait. A 6 month wait till my outy reversed into an inny, admittedly am shitting myself, but it has to be done, I have to be who I should be. But still, so need it to be done?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Barely a week since I get my go ahead for my surgery, was in CX again today, and find out, might only be a 6 month wait. A 6 month wait till my outy reversed into an inny, admittedly am shitting myself, but it has to be done, I have to be who I should be. But still, so need it to be done?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 6 September 2013
06-09-2013
Things are weird at the mo, more and more, whilst just sat on the sofa, am giving myself a run through, of having sex, I know I was doing it before I received my go ahead, but still. Am hoping it won't be a long wait till I get a surgery date, but is still a 9 moth wait afterwards, till I can lose my virginity, ridiculous I know, as I won't have a hymen, but, will still be the first time a penis enters my vagina, I know I've never mentioned post GRS really before, but that was because, will I ever get the go ahead, will I get my surgery. I know I should still consider that I won't, but have received the go ahead, will only be something major to stop that happening.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are weird at the mo, more and more, whilst just sat on the sofa, am giving myself a run through, of having sex, I know I was doing it before I received my go ahead, but still. Am hoping it won't be a long wait till I get a surgery date, but is still a 9 moth wait afterwards, till I can lose my virginity, ridiculous I know, as I won't have a hymen, but, will still be the first time a penis enters my vagina, I know I've never mentioned post GRS really before, but that was because, will I ever get the go ahead, will I get my surgery. I know I should still consider that I won't, but have received the go ahead, will only be something major to stop that happening.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Tuesday 3 September 2013
02-09-2013
Just received some fantastic news this morning, whilst on my visit to the Clinic down at CX, have officially received my second signature, to say that in, the Considered Opinion, of 2 fully qualified Shrinks, am considered mentally stable enough to go through with my Gender Re-assignment Surgery, Me, Mentally Stable??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Just received some fantastic news this morning, whilst on my visit to the Clinic down at CX, have officially received my second signature, to say that in, the Considered Opinion, of 2 fully qualified Shrinks, am considered mentally stable enough to go through with my Gender Re-assignment Surgery, Me, Mentally Stable??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 1 September 2013
01-09-2013
OK, am back in London, got back last night, then straight for dinner in China Town. After just getting on the bus, and sitting down, I notice L, from Sports Direct, haven't seen her for months, lovely girl, pity she used to be a monkey, but still, a lovely girl?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
OK, am back in London, got back last night, then straight for dinner in China Town. After just getting on the bus, and sitting down, I notice L, from Sports Direct, haven't seen her for months, lovely girl, pity she used to be a monkey, but still, a lovely girl?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
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