Monday 31 December 2012

 
04-01-2013
As it's a new year, thought I would start off with a load of piccies, as I was, as I am??


 
 This is oneof my earliest Girly Photo's, not exactly very flattering I know, but then, I had to use Photo Shop to appear a bit more curvier?
 
A couple of Shots from around London, a funday in Leiscester Square, a walk about in Kensington Gardens, Chingford, Trafalgar Square 

 


 


This is mine, and Connie's first attempt to the film Scene, called Something Blue, should be on Channel 4 sometime early 2013

 

The Lead, a girl, playing a
 boy, playing a girl??
 
 
Not Now Mr B' De.Mille
 
 
 Connie getting herself
 ready for her film debut
Me and Claire, Continuity

A couple from the Brittania. My Fave watering hole in Kensington, only been drinking in there, for near 25 years, as 'Him' and 'Her'



A couples showing part of the seedier side of London, First at Club Lick, was in E17, but folded now, second one. intended for Legs, in Leyton, won't say what happends there?




A couple of Holiday Shots now, first at Steeplebay, in Essex, Jane in Haven, A day out Brighton


Now some pictures from fathers 70th, first showing with Jane, Connie, Richard and his partner, Christiana. Connie and her Uncle, Richard.   
 


JaneMe


Me in Drag, as a Squaddie


Christmas Day, 2012



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Tuesday 25 December 2012

25-12-12
Well, another year past, another 2 day's at the Wagon, was there yesterday, kids disco, got chatting to C, lovely girl, might be 26, but going on 17, she was recently dumped by her guy, they had moved together 2 years ago, but then she had admitted thinking about other people, other girls in fact. But she had alway's been straight? As I said, if I had been post, and single, might have taken her up on the fact that she had tried to pick us up,both of us, me and Jane?











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Friday 14 December 2012

14-12-2012
Am getting oh so confused, again. These damn hormones are really screwing with me. Is it because, that as I'm broadcasting so many Hormones, is that making the females in the area, to start blasting out pheromones. Lets be serious, those things could calm a raging lion, thinking about things, maybe that's why generally, after being in Pubs etc, a majority of guy's are ok about me too, my hormones have been pushing women's pheromones, which in effect, have been calming guys?.
  But why, is it turning me into a raging nympho, not exactly stripping off and getting everyone to have me, if I was able to self lube, I would need to be walking around, with a bucket between my legs, I would be that damn wet, Are things that difficult for girls when they are younger, I mean boys are walking around with raging hard on's so much of the time, sometimes like clock work. as was with me, at Risedale, 0920, every morning, during assembly.The amount of crap I went through then, so hope it doesn't happen again. Lets leave it there for now?





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Friday 7 December 2012

07-12-2012

ok, so will just add, as and when about nothing. Am having a weird day at the mo, am worried about Meeting up with S tonight, worried that she'll stand me up. More than anything I just want to see her again, doesn't matter if we end at her room, will just be oh so good to her again, and to have a girly night out, been oh so long since I have had one of those. What is happening to me, what do I do so wrong, yet again have been stood up, God I was so looking forward to tonight, just having a night with one of my mates, OK there was the chance of some bedroom fun too, but that wasn't the important bit, it was just having the girly night out, Damn.








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Wednesday 5 December 2012


05-12-2012
been a bit quiet, after trying to find out, about sending things to Afghan, Shoe boxes etc, they have a short piece in this morning, claiming it's started, go on line, and find out, it has in reality finished. might be late, but am sending a couple anyway, sod them.










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01-12-12

ah well, I guess I won't be going into the GB site again, A really does have a problem with either me, or trans as a whole, Just when I thought I was being proven wrong about the relationship between Gay's and trans, she goes and proves me right, as she seems think it is perfectly fine to keep referring to me as aman, even though I keep asking her not too, in fact, several of the women in there, also asked her not to do so either? Am I bothered, not really? c'est le vie.








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Tuesday 27 November 2012

27-11-12
Things are getting quiet, nothing much happening. Been spending more time on the GB site. Generaly
 all are ok, apart from one, the mod, she just feels the need to call me 'aman', She keeps claiming she is calling me a shortened version of Amanda, ignoring the fact that she is in fact calling me a man, I repeatedly asked her to stop calling me it, she continued, even claiming that I had called one of the other girls, a shortened version of her name, yes I did, but it wasn't as offensive as what A was calling me. Dozy Biatch, is apparently a barrister too, she might want to have a look at the Gender Discrimination laws. But then should be fun next week, as is the sites Chrimble drinks. V was talking about coming too, as is just around the corner from her's, but when she replied, it sounded as if she was trying to come-out?






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Thursday 15 November 2012

15-11-2012
OMG, have just chatted with one of the the 4th/7th lads from Sunday, he was as glad to see me, as I was to see him. J had gone on to have a drink with the lads, at a pub in Baker Street, apparently quite a few had asked where I was, surprising part being, that most of them were Skins, from the other half of the Regiment, that had left prior to amalgamation, so never knew them, but, they had asked where I was.
 A couple have been in touch with him, on FB, one of them even sent J a lovely note praising me, it felt oh so good, guy's I've never met before saying lovely things about little old me, goes to show what strong ties the Army gives people, when a woman, in my situation, is getting such support, purely for being in the same Regiment.
Am just so hoping, all the lads come home from Camp Bastion, never know, Roger might make another video while he's out there, would make Jane oh so happy, to have another excuse to give him a hug??






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Monday 12 November 2012

12-11-2012

Well, as you see from the Piccies, I did it, and yes, was accepted again, by the lads. Top picture. 2 guy's on my left, are old boy's, they left in either '66 or '76, next to them was Gazza, he was at Cav Mem too.But I don't think he is too sure how to take me, admittedly back in the regiment, he alway's seemed to be on the outer edges, of my circle. Next to him, JT, a fantastic guy, met him for the first time since I got out, but have been chatting with him on Messenger for nearly a year. It was lovely to see him again. Then another old boy,  in the corner, Toffee Thornton, another one of the lads. People are probably querying the different ties, they are as much a regimental identintity as our cap badges. the RDG were made up of 2 Proud regiments, the 4th/7th Royal Dragoon Guards and the 5th Royal Inniskillin Dragoon Guards. Although I was RDG, I started out with the 4th/7th, to become RDG, the 2 guy's next to me were 4th/7th also, hence why we wear the darker ties, the RDG tie is the Greener one.


This one is Nige and John,at first, they both though I was a wife, of one of the Lads, looks on their faces when they realised. Getting to know the old faces and names again. was a good start to the day, on BBC news, included a report from Afghan. With one of the Troopers, by the time Cav Mem comes around again, the lads will be back, safe and sound.
  





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Friday 9 November 2012


09-11-2012

2 day's to go till Remembrance Parade, god am so shitting myself. Will be a different generation of lads that will be there. There weren't many I disliked in the regiment, but VR was one of them, another one was DK, but then, he did accuse of being a Theaf  purely on the final person's say so, AD, only person present on both occasions, admittedly maybe it should have been him I had the fight with instead of DK, but then, knowing what he is like, he would have just ran away.
   I know this is one side of me never seen before, but have also had some bad news today, missed out on another film role, ok was only an extra, but still..... They did say they were after females more than men, ah well their loss.






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Wednesday 7 November 2012

07-11-2012

I know, been a while, but have been a little distracted at the mo, concentrating on Sunday, meeting up with the Regiment again. But, this time, as the word will have been out, will there be a couple of the lads, turning up, just to cause aggro. But then, what will the RBL themselves say, this could be oh so massive, for the Community as a whole. Am so hoping, that as the only woman in the regiment, get chosen for the Cenotaph, will have to get to Silvermans tomorrow, to get a replacement UN, but will get a Mess Dress size one though, never know, next time I post on here, could be leaving a link, for my television Debut.






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Friday 26 October 2012


26-10-2012

Have received the tickets, only thing stopping me from doing Rememberance Parade is getting there now. Can't wait to see the lads again. Oh so much has been happening realy, is oh so rare that anyone saty's anything nowaday's, is mainly just look now, but after what happened the other day, is that because I'm trans, or because I look so good, anyway, am I bothered, no. So what was it that happened the other night, was in this new chat room I go to, a Lesbian site, and one of the girls in there, a Scotish/German girl, after she saw a picture of me, said I looked damn good? 
Talking of the regiment, so wish JT would reappear, so hope nothing has happened to him, he did mention that he might be in UK, for 11-11, so hope so. Would be good to see him too, also, another reason why I hope he reappers, is so that I can mentipon where I will the night before the Parade, so that he can mention to Pig and everyone. but then, so hope the Pig has learnt how to handle his drink, that night of the Smoker on Saltau, all those years ago, he just  nodded off, lol, god, he was so young then, but thenm he hadn't been at the regiment that long????












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Sunday 21 October 2012

21-10-2012

OMG, can't say have been busy, but quite the opposite. Absolutely nothing has happened for to write about, about only thing, was another Decapeptil injection, but, hey will get those every 3 months, next one due first week of 2013. Have been having even more confusion about H in the library, not caused by getting mixed signals of her, but because she isn't there. Bloody Hormones?








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Friday 5 October 2012


05-10-2012

Has been an awesome week, Sunday Night I finaly get my magazine article, not only do I see said article,but,  in same magazine they have a couple of pictures from Cavalry Memorial Parade, in which we marched past the Cavalry Memorial, and Amanda was introduced to the Royal Dragoon Guards, possibly not only the best regiment in the world, but also Amanda's  own regiment, from  when she was a man, but they also welcomed her back to the regimental family with open arms.
 Was at Charing Cross again, on Monday, Saw Dr S again, everything OK, got him to write out a sheet to let Dr Ka know excatly how HRT is meant to be, Dr S reckons his Secretary has been Sorted, and will no longer take 3 months to get a letter out, apparently.
 Saw SL after that, got major surprise, only been at CX about 2 years, not expecting anything major till next year, SL then informs me, he's giving his Signature for my Surgery. Am back there in February, to be seen by Mr A, then will begin the long road to get his Signature.
 Only thing remaining then, is for meds to stabilise, which'll mean, only another 3-4 decapeptil injections, and the sooner testosterone levels are 00'd the better?






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Tuesday 2 October 2012

27-09-2012

After everything one group I had forgotten about completely, are my Med Centre. Dr Ke, Dr Ka, C, A, Z, Nurses A and V. both Doctors have had a massive learning curve, and been fantastic about it all, Dr Ka has had the hardest part of it all. PCT's demanding that Charing Cross issue my prescription's, then Dr S at Charing Cross refusing to contact him, in regards to the issuing of Prescription's. Nurse A, was fantastic in helping me to stop smoking, got it done within a month, VERY severe hard action by myself admittedly, but it was done, Charing Cross had made the suggestion that I stop smoking for my general health, but at the same time, I wanted to anyway, and I did, and also just for being there, also not recognising practicaly every time she see's me, just looking at me, complimenting me on oh good and how girly I am looking. Nurse V, admittedly was on the wrongfull  receiving end of me, when I returned to London, and prior to starting my transition proper. Since I started my new life as Amanda, she has been fantastic. Next on the list, are, what have to be the best group of receptionists anyway, Z, she was the initial receptionist to accept me as Amanda, she was there as I bought my DeedPoll in, with my new name, Amanda Maroulis, and also the start of my new sex, as there and then she put me down as a female, and started me to get regular letters from the PCT, inviting me in for a Smeer test?? Next to thank has to be A, she was there that fatefull day, I launched off at Nurse V, and as she keeps saying now, thankfully, that was in the past, I'm a new person now, oh so true. next is C, she leaves tomorrow, but she was only on an Apprentiship, so had to leave sometime  anyway, another one that has been oh so fantastic, and just accepted me as a woman, no questions asked, she has a full time job to move onto, so well done for that, her replacement has started, a woman called L, and she seems to be fun too.  




(c)

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Sunday 23 September 2012

23-09-2012

Am back at CX next Monday, wil have to have a seriouse discuss things with Seal, ok never went back to 4mg, stopped at 6, but so need to return to 8, as testiscles appear to be reasserting, if I get prescription this week, will see about getting injected early, so don't want/need my male side to reassert. Am finaly gaining stability within myself, got off the Hetero idea at last, males are so thank fully Surplus To Requirement, was oh amazing to discover the beauty of girl on girl, is oh such a pity that the woman that helped me discover it, needs to keep her distance, I can ubnderstand it, will be oh so much better to keep her as afriend, rather than lose her. This new way of looking at friendships is oh so amazing, that realising why it is, us girls have so many friends, is not that they are friends as such, just people that we get on with, at least 3/4 of the Roystan say hi when I see them, that includes the ones that I have only seen in there, and don't even know their names, is that because they have seen me in there, they say hi.
 Got some good news about 2-3 day's ago, JT could be back in UK for Rememberance Weekend, that'll be good, after chatting with me for so long, getting to meet. At same time, could be meeting BarryH, from Transmission.
 Also tickets for Rememberance are in the pipeline?







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Monday 17 September 2012

17-09-2012

Last night was strange, was in gingerbeer.com, as per usual, seemed to be a new girl in there, so later as the night went on, told her I was MtF, Male to Female, obviousely on the lesbian scene everyone is aware that MtF means am trans. One of the girls, that have been chatting with for ages, then turns around, and say's she was fully unaware, she thought I was another woman. So one test passed, have passed on a lesbian chatsite as a woman? One of those RLE tests passed, have passed as a women, in the hardest area, the mental area, so without trying, am conversing as a woman, may not sound like much, but if you look at the newspapers, you can see which articles were written by men, which by women, unless they are long term profesional journos, then they convert into a non sexual entity, or are they like that in reality anyway?







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Thursday 13 September 2012

13-09-2012

Has been a weird couple of day's, have had to tell the 2nd women that I love, that I will never want anything of her, if I want to continue to be able to see her, I will have to make that consetion. But at the same time, this Lesbian life is oh so confusing for me.
   I am attracted to a woman I can in no way, have any form of fun with, she appears to be happily married to a man, no kids, medical reasons. There does seems to be something mutual there, she said something about my hair yesterday, I said I would love to see hers, she's muslim, I then felt highly honoured, as she then said, she will show me, when there are no guy's around, she is fully aware of my history, but it means that she only thinks of me as a woman.
 She isn't a stick insect figured woman, but with a proper curvey body, this is oh so strange for me, it is in no way anywhere near how I have felt before, when attracted to somebody, but this is in no way means I was just over confused with A, I do love that woman, she helped to open my eye's to one side of woman hood that I may never have seen, I sure as hell would never have experienced lesbian sex with out her, and am in no way complaining, lets be seriouse, can oh so do without a guy ramming his bits into me, lets be seriouse; lesbian sex is oh so more loving, more tender, just oh so WOW.
 I know A will read this sometime, she will know that the hormonal side of womanhood was such a surprise for me, admittedly she was part of the reason it was awakened in me, hey, anything involving A and me, I'm not complaining. No matter what, I can alway's talk to A, I can be completely open with her, and she can be oh so understanding too, I know she say's she loves me, and she must, as she trying oh so hard to understand us, she's even tried to find out all about CX GIC, Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic, however, all that did, was confuse her even more, never know, she might come with me, to my next visit at the end of the month.







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Tuesday 4 September 2012


04-09-2012

Final day here today, as per, has been oh so chilled,and as per, No hasle at all. Everybody has been their usual cheerful selves, no body has had no time for us, in fact seem, to go out of their way's, to be oh so nice to me, is alway's so good to come here, knowing there will never be any hasle, and also, the fact that  the Teddy Bear is in Charge nowaday's, and that the idiot is gone now, he was oh so lucky, firstly that I never did anything, to defend myself, and secondly, the Police down here are oh so ignorant, I could have caused oh so many problems for them.








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Saturday 1 September 2012


01-09-2012
 
OMG, awesome new's, been in touch with A, from the Regimental Museum , what TS chatted about at Cav-Mem, has been confirmed, we are hosting  Rememberance, and as am the only 'Female' from the Regiment proper, not attached, damn good chance that I'll be one of the wreath layers, brilliant, so as well as being featured in a magazine article, working on a film, will now also be on television. now that is what you call a Real Life Experience. Just wish that all would equate to happiness and success.
I so keep getting tempted to do the writing bit, but keep getting stopped, by the starting point, if I was to rely on past life experience, it would all be so macho, the only real life experience I have had was as a man, also as a soldier, not very girly.

Day One proper of haven, again, arrived last night, fridge/freezer kept blowing the fuses in the 'van, got a temperary fridge installed, supposed to be getting an electrician coming around on Monday, will end up replacing fridge/freezer I reckon. Big Andy, Security is still here, he's now the Supervisor, not bad considering they refused to renew his contract at the beginning of the year, until the owners then turned around, and Haven were informed, That They Would Be? Also, under him, the are cracking down on Idiots, idiots that have problem with what they believe people genders are, even though peoples choices are bugger all to with them. As big, and as hard he looks, maybe, Big Andy will alway's be a cuddly bear to me.






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Thursday 30 August 2012



30-08-2012
Been one of those day's, again, GP was finaly in contact with CX, again, only Iffy this time, not Seal, so she told GP the totaly wrong dosage too, she claimed was back to 4mg, that's going back 9 months, what happened to 6 and 8, and also the fact that am on Decapeptil too, shouldn't that give a hint that am on higher strength hormones. Am so going to be shitting myself, so don't want Testosterone to kick in in again, to become 'Him' again, I'm happy as Amanda, everybody preferes me as her, 'He' is a grade A arsehole, so don't want that life again, but, at same time, maybe I should be on a lower strength, maybe not handling the hormonal surges so well, maybe thats why things with GF were so difficult, but at the same time, oh so fantastic, maybe we should see about J getting coil removed, maybe thats part of her problem? that she is in effect, in hormonal withdrawl? maybe I would need those second hand hormonal surges too, maybe that was what I was suffering when GF wasn't there, Hormonal Withdrawel?







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Tuesday 28 August 2012

28-08-2012

It has been one of those weeks, to cap it all off, GF needs some time, none of us had any idea, we were waiting for her, for C's B'day, but she failed to turn up, her mobi was dead to the world, as was she.
It was Clarified, 3 day's later, Sunday was the Memorial date for her Grandmothers funeral, we had no idea, but, it still hurt, for 3 day's I was unable to contact my best friend, and I was so worried, in the past anybody cut me off, was purely because peeps had had a teddy in the corner, but this timer was oh so wrong, was because she needed some time, nothing more, it hurt so much because I do love her, made even worse because of it being such a hormonal affair?









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Monday 20 August 2012

21-08-2012

Is beginning to more be and more difficult for GF and me, her boy's have realised there is something more than just friendship between us, have given her hell, because, as per normal, they think C is fantastic, all I wanted to do yesterday was just hold A, but J was there, so I couldn't. This is all oh so complicated, we have promised ourself's that we won't go that final step, but god, as I said I just want to hold her at times, I know I hold J all the time, but the love with A, may be just as strong, but is oh so different, might it be that,  the love with J started out as Hetero, while part of me remained 'Him', there was alway's that for us, but now, as I become even more Girly, my needs and desires are oh so more Girly too? But, there is no way I want to end things between us, I love J and C oh so completely. What am I going to do.
Most would think, that as I become disatiesfied with guy's, and return to the initial object of my desires, women, I am just flitting back and forth, I wish was oh so simple, I mean, even after all this time, I only just learn the lesbian side of love, and obviousely Sex. Why is it we have the incapacity to understand the openness of non-hetero sex, I know all about the penetrative side of Sex, normal boring hetero style sex, then the openess, relaxed side to lesbian sex, oh god, if male could reach that level of openess, relaxness of Lesbian, would be oh a oh so better relaxed world, I can't say anything about Gay sex, as have never experienced that, never been with a guy, in a gay relationship, have only ever been with a guy, in a standard man/woman thing, I know it may be difficult for so many out there to realise, but then, who said transitioning was easy? 








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Sunday 19 August 2012

19-08-2012

Well, has been a fantastic weekend, had my fathers 70th B'day party to attend, then, at last moment, realise, his sisters family aren't aware of Amanda. So 7 day's before party, panicked phone to cousin, to ask her to let family know, her response, well am not surprised, she had had seen pictures of me on line before? but she informs rest of family, so that on the day, of the party, they are fully aware, things go well with them.
Next big thing, was Brother, we never realy got on, in the past, as teh saying goes, you can choose your friends, not your family? Anyway, he and his Partner, and guess what, everything went cushty, they were ok, we actualy spoke, for a change, with our mouths, not our fists?




Thinga with the GF are interesting, she's coming into her prime, as it were, but, with her maturity comes freedom, freedom and self confidence, with her self confidence about coming out as being Bi, has opened up her coming into her prime, so as her need for sex hightens, she can't just walk out of her front door, and get a willing partisipant, or can she.
Not a lot of people know this, but with the advent of Information Technology, as has the advent of the new sexual revolition, there are plenty of places to go to, legaly, for your legal desires, be they straight, lesbian, gay, trans or just plain greedy, as long as you respect other people and respect when they say no, you can be surprised by peoples attitudes.
So have only got to find time, to get to such a place in Barking, admittedly there is a local just around the corner, but that is mainly for gay and trans, and not a woman, even though a couple of women do go?
So now just got to set a day, convenient for both of us? No, not for me, but for A, as she's a tad nervouse about the idea.






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Saturday 11 August 2012

11-08-2012

Has been an awesome couple of weeks, and also Major Bad news for the guy's out there, after sexy old me, not interested, have discovered by 'New' Sexuality that was alway's there, realy, only interested in the 'Fairer sex now, and it was oh so unbelievable, when I discovered it.
Have a mate, that is all she is, as we have both admitted, that if we were to more, again, could oh so ruin things between the four of us, me, J, C, and friend, as things between us, are oh so Fantastic. Have taken advice from other J, and joined Ginger Beer, hope they accept me on there, as my experince, with Lesbians in the past hasn't been too good, have received shed loads of abuse, online, when they realise am trans, but hey, was on a trans site anyway?
Things can be oh so difficult with A, as we both want, need the lesbian sex again, but we have to settle for a kiss, and nothing more. Am slowly gettiing J interested in the lesbian side of things, hey, she shouldn't complain, she'll stilll get her multiples again. She is just scared, that, with the lesbian sex, being as intense as it can be, that there could be movement from my genitalia, increasing testosterone again. But she's noticed my testes, how much smaller, softer they are, and so don't think, want any action from them again. So don't want or need, any need to return to return to that Man ever again, am oh so enjoying my life as a woman, and can look back, with pride, and that right fantastic decision I made, with the support of J, to transition. If she had made the same decision, as so many female partners of transgendered, to leave, I so doubt I could have handled all this.
One of the biggest steps I made, was obviousely Cav Mem, as I said before, I was oh so shitting myself, but as SS asked, why, if he could handle being the first black lad in the regiment, why should I be worried, about being the only Trans, in the RDG family.QS. Obviouosely there will be the odd comments, but hey, we're human, we're all different, Thank God.




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Wednesday 1 August 2012

02-08-2012


Been a period of weird dreams again, was a bit busy yesterday, so was never able to put dream down from 31/07, anyway Regiment again, was out Sking again, was looking for a girl, a Nima Naebi, weird thing is, neveer knew her on the slopes, she was the Afghani woman I knew in Paderborn, thats ok past histories, however last night was in no way histories, was fantasising, pure and simple, was helping out on the Maclaren F1 team, then things started happening with Jensen, OK me and J have joked about him being the rarety in Somerset, in that he's sexy???? Decapeptil effects are having a positive effect, boobies have definitely grown again, in other words, don't need a bra with certain tops, may only be Fried Eggs, as most women call them, but they are there, but sensitivity is only in certain moments, worst part is, those moments aren't with J, they are with another woman, but not in hetero sense but in Lesbian sense, this woman thinks that J may be attracted to her, hope so, then she can discover her lesbian side, that would be oh so unbelievable, as I said the her the other day, never know, maybe we could have a 3some, and forget what all guy's say, lesbian is oh so muche WOOOW, it can be as fast as you need it, or as slow, even just sitting on a sofa, and having a cuddle is oh so much more than with a guy?














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Tuesday 24 July 2012

25-07-2012


OMG, just another day, then I get my much awaited injection, only thing about this waiting around, is that I found out how some of our Meds actualy cost, if it wasn't for prescription charges itself, it would cost me £207, which works out at just over £900 over a year, till my final Op, already started on the CA's, these are just to reduce the possibility's of Testosterone surges, I so can't wait, but at the same time I'm nervouse as hell. So hope I don't get any of those surges, will so make me panic about going back to the arse hole me? So don't want that.
Have got a new mate, another MM, and she is so brilliant, so hope she gets the new flat that she needs, get those 2 lads of hers out of her hair, met B yesterday, seems to be ok, S was just hiding in his room, so never got to meet him.
Will have to have a look at the Hedonism site, see how long till that is out, and also try and get a few extra copies, obviousely get one for the Library, see how long that lasts??





Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
25-07-2012


OMG, just another day, then I get my much awaited injection, only thing about this waiting around, is that I found out how some of our Meds actualy cost, if it wasn't for prescription charges itself, it would cost me £207, which works out at just over £900 over a year, till my final Op, already started on the CA's, these are just to reduce the possibility's of Testosterone surges, I so can't wait, but at the same time I'm nervouse as hell. So hope I don't get any of those surges, will so make me panic about going back to the arse hole me? So don't want that.
Have got a new mate, another MM, and she is so brilliant, so hope she gets the new flat that she needs, get those 2 lads of hers out of her hair, met B yesterday, seems to be ok, S was just hiding in his room, so never got to meet him.
Will have to have a look at the Hedonism site, see how long till that is out, and also try and get a few extra copies, obviousely get one for the Library, see how long that lasts??










Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.

Sunday 15 July 2012


14-07-2012
OMG, just had an awesome Saturday, was told last week that father had got us all tickets for the theatre, not any theatre, but a 360 theatre, in the 'Round as it were, and not just for anything, but for 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe', it was Brilliant, a bit of a steal from War Horse, in that, they used a Lion Frame, to play Aslan, the lion with, a head, forequarters and rear end, looked brilliant, and they also had us oh so involved with it too, that [part at the begining, when the kids are playing hide and seek, Lucy had us counting with them.
 The acts after the interval, were busy playing cards and games, as if they were real youngsters again, playing with their Chrimble Pressies, then, as we realise they had started the second episode, I commented to the peeps next to me, acting as if it was Spring again, in reality to the Book, playing with their Chrimble Pressie's, that they had received from Father Christmas, Narnia had been locked in Winter, but a winter with no Chrimble.
When it came to the part where Aslan gives himself up, in place of Edmund, and he was Chained to the Stone Table, then executed. It's as if he realy has been taken by the 'Deeper Magic', the Aslan Frame just disapears from under the Clothes used to hide the bloody mess, that is lying there, is not till afterwards, when reading the programme, about the cast, that there actualy is a magician involved, so real magic, in the deeper magic.
Then the end, and the cast, my god, the came out in dribs and drabs, but once the clapping startes, it just continued, even for the white witch, plus some boo's of course. Again not till reading programme, did I realise, the White Witch, was the lesbian DC from 'A Touch Of Frost'. But again, it was totaly AWESOME.  









Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.

14-07-2012
OMG, just had an awesome Saturday, was told last week that father had got us all tickets for the theatre, not any theatre, but a 360 theatre, in the 'Round as it were, and not just for anything, but for 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe', it was Brilliant, a bit of a steal from War Horse, in that, they used a Lion Frame, to play Aslan, the lion with, a head, forequarters and rear end, looked brilliant, and they also had us oh so involved with it too, that [part at the beginning, when the kids are playing hide and seek, Lucy had us counting with them.
 The acts after the interval, were busy playing cards and games, as if they were real youngsters again, playing with their Chrimble Pressie's, then, as we realise they had started the second episode, I commented to the peeps next to me, acting as if it was Spring again, in reality to the Book, playing with their Chrimble Pressie's, that they had received from Father Christmas, Narnia had been locked in Winter, but a winter with no Chrimble.
When it came to the part where Alan gives himself up, in place of Edmund, and he was Chained to the Stone Table, then executed. It's as if he really has been taken by the 'Deeper Magic', the Aslan Frame just disappears from under the Clothes used to hide the bloody mess, that is lying there, is not till afterwards, when reading the programme, about the cast, that there actually is a magician involved, so real magic, in the deeper magic.
Then the end, and the cast, my god, the came out in dribs and drabs, but once the clapping starts, it just continued, even for the white witch, plus some boo's of course. Again not till reading programme, did I realise, the White Witch, was the lesbian DC from 'A Touch Of Frost'. But again, it was totally AWESOME.  










Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.

Tuesday 10 July 2012

10-07-2012


Fantastic new's, Karim has been in contact with CX again, this time not talking with Seal, but his boss this time, Mr By the Book,Barrat, and he'll be seeing him next week. So hopefully, shall have my script, ready and waiting, when I go in for sign on, on Monday.
Also MM has sent me a copy of the draught, for the piece about me from 'Hedonist', just in case anything needed adjusting, little bits did, like calling Bernie, Bertie, and also general Tenses, but then her English, generaly, is pretty good, she just needs to get her tenses sorted, never easy for a foreigner, look at me and my German?


















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Tuesday 3 July 2012

03-07-2012

Finaly, CX has sent the letter to GP stating that I am to receive the anti-testosterone injection's. However, PCT pharmacy seem to think that CX has to issue 'Script, don't PCT realise that CX is West London PCT too, admittedly may come under Mental Health Etc, but is still West London.
Karim finaly accepted that I was supposed to be on 6mg a day, when letter was supposed to have been sent out, however, that was 12 weeks, 3 months ago, with Dr Karim being such a newbie to the trade, as it were, he isn't aware of regime with Hormones, yet.
This morning however, started to feel Bloki again, as if body was rejecting hormones, and boobies are shrinking, proof, as it were that I need to be on 8mg now?
I had to get in touch with Seal down at CX, while I was there for my speach therapy, to confirm was GP's responsibilty, however, he flatly stated that 'He Never' contacted GP's, Dr Karim had tried to phone him, got 0 responce, so has tried to Fax him, will contact surgery Thursday morning, get details of when letter arrived, when they faxed Seal, then pay a visit to speak to his Boss, bad news for Seal, She is Ex QA, Queens Alexandria Royal Nursing Corps, Army Nurse. So we talk the same language, the same management talk, so therefore, will be able to order her, to order Seal, to fullfill his commitment to the Hypocratic Oath.

  







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Tuesday 26 June 2012

26-06-2012
I know it's been a while since I have added anything, but have just received some FANTASTIC new today. Thursday will be collecting prescription, not just for Hormones, but also 11.25mg DECAPEPTYL, which for the normal guy out there, is an Anti-Testosterone, an injection I shall be having every 12 weeks, to ensure testicles are totaly inactive, and also another drug to ensure that I do not receive any futher testosterone flashes, during that initial 2 week period, then 8 weeks after that, yet another donation to the Save a Vampire trust, yes even more blood tests, hilariuse thing is, when I am CX again, will be giving more then, again.
Only other thing, tha has been happening, is that am now volunteering at local Community Library, ever since local government decided, that after the current slump, and they needed to save money, decided to shut local library down, but, Jane and Jo Public weren't happy with not having any books to read, decided to open their own library, and is going good, this is the same library that had a slightly over weight blonde haired politician, with a totaly weird hairstyle, pop in, when we having our opening, and I managed to have him stuck for words, can anyone believe that, Boris Johnson stuck for words?? 












Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.