29-12-2013
Possibly my last post of the year. Got back to London earlier, get to parents, there's a letter waiting for me, from Charing Cross Hospital, inviting me in for an outpatients consultation, Yeeeeehaaaaaaa. Only thing is, is in April. If that's in April, how long till surgery, will I still be able to do Cav Mem, god I hope it doesn't conflict, that I'll still be able to March with the lads, so don't want to be there on the side lines, but so want to be there Post Op, a complete woman? and at same time, all going well, they won't believe how quiet I am, as will have to rest new vocal's.
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Sunday 29 December 2013
Wednesday 25 December 2013
25-12-2013
OK, been nearly a month since I added, but things been very quiet, apart from going mad from frustration, from waiting for the notification. Am down at in-laws again, is that time of year, was over at the pub yesterday, kids Xmas party. C was playing with a couple of the local kids, noticed there was a lad hanging about. Was ok, as it turned out to be a brother from the girls, but then C said 'He' was 19, sorry but he looked about 14-15, but had tats? the started looking, but wasn't a lad, so I asked C to ask 'Him' if 'He' was a Tboy, C refused too, anyway 'He' came by, so I asked, guess what, I was right, D is a Tboy, he's got a fiancé, just awaiting initial appointment at Laurel's, Exeter GIC. pity he's a lad?
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OK, been nearly a month since I added, but things been very quiet, apart from going mad from frustration, from waiting for the notification. Am down at in-laws again, is that time of year, was over at the pub yesterday, kids Xmas party. C was playing with a couple of the local kids, noticed there was a lad hanging about. Was ok, as it turned out to be a brother from the girls, but then C said 'He' was 19, sorry but he looked about 14-15, but had tats? the started looking, but wasn't a lad, so I asked C to ask 'Him' if 'He' was a Tboy, C refused too, anyway 'He' came by, so I asked, guess what, I was right, D is a Tboy, he's got a fiancé, just awaiting initial appointment at Laurel's, Exeter GIC. pity he's a lad?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Wednesday 27 November 2013
27-11-2013
Don't ask me why, but have just been having some weird thought's, going back to when I was in the Army, as much as I tried, and succeeded at keeping everything concealed, surely somebody had an idea, there was that in my hyper confidential, that I was not to go NI, surely some body had an idea, as they did say, was for emotional reasons, wasn't I considered strong enough, emotionaly?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Don't ask me why, but have just been having some weird thought's, going back to when I was in the Army, as much as I tried, and succeeded at keeping everything concealed, surely somebody had an idea, there was that in my hyper confidential, that I was not to go NI, surely some body had an idea, as they did say, was for emotional reasons, wasn't I considered strong enough, emotionaly?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 24 November 2013
24-11-2013
This is getting unbelievable, as much as I love J, her non-sexuality, is screwing me mentality. I would oh so much her to just give me a hug, a look. But is oh so difficult,cyes would be oh easy to jump into some guy's bed, but I don't want that do I. What I want, need, is J, I don't want to lose her, I need her, but at the same time, I don't want, need a man. I just want that one woman, that has been stood by me, for the last 12 years, that stood by me, as I became the woman I am today. But, at the same time, I am being screwed up, by the waiting game, just waiting for a date, to even get that initial consultation, by the Surgeon. If he even saw me at his private clinic would be no problem, that's even closer to the family, than CX. But hey, I guess the waiting game is part of the process, but is oh so difficult, I am getting oh so much more tempted to use those knives of mine, and just chop that bit off, but that would mean bleeding to death, and losing the flesh required to construct the required?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
This is getting unbelievable, as much as I love J, her non-sexuality, is screwing me mentality. I would oh so much her to just give me a hug, a look. But is oh so difficult,cyes would be oh easy to jump into some guy's bed, but I don't want that do I. What I want, need, is J, I don't want to lose her, I need her, but at the same time, I don't want, need a man. I just want that one woman, that has been stood by me, for the last 12 years, that stood by me, as I became the woman I am today. But, at the same time, I am being screwed up, by the waiting game, just waiting for a date, to even get that initial consultation, by the Surgeon. If he even saw me at his private clinic would be no problem, that's even closer to the family, than CX. But hey, I guess the waiting game is part of the process, but is oh so difficult, I am getting oh so much more tempted to use those knives of mine, and just chop that bit off, but that would mean bleeding to death, and losing the flesh required to construct the required?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 17 November 2013
17-11-2013
So, Mr Boris Johnson, supposed Mayor of London, supposed Chief of Metropolitan Police, it may be illegal in UK to be Transphobic, but is OK in London, as it's not in Public Interest. Really, well, we shall see, as I am about to speak to Police Complaints, and as the Metropolitans Chief, You shall also be investigated, as you were informed of the actions, of your juniors, but refused to take any action. Ergo Transphobic?
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So, Mr Boris Johnson, supposed Mayor of London, supposed Chief of Metropolitan Police, it may be illegal in UK to be Transphobic, but is OK in London, as it's not in Public Interest. Really, well, we shall see, as I am about to speak to Police Complaints, and as the Metropolitans Chief, You shall also be investigated, as you were informed of the actions, of your juniors, but refused to take any action. Ergo Transphobic?
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Thursday 14 November 2013
14-11-2013
It's been a weird day today, went up to Olympic Park, top see about Veladrome, and opening conditions. While I was on the bus, getting there, Bus Driver turned around, and said how attractive I was, then asked where I lived, had to tell him, am living with J though.
Was on FB, chatting to a contact from down in Devon, and he admitted I was a sexy looking woman, but then he did admit, that he was only telling me because he knew I wouldn't be interested in him, only interested in women.
But other things are Screwing me up, am getting oh so hormonal at times, this is really scaring me now.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
It's been a weird day today, went up to Olympic Park, top see about Veladrome, and opening conditions. While I was on the bus, getting there, Bus Driver turned around, and said how attractive I was, then asked where I lived, had to tell him, am living with J though.
Was on FB, chatting to a contact from down in Devon, and he admitted I was a sexy looking woman, but then he did admit, that he was only telling me because he knew I wouldn't be interested in him, only interested in women.
But other things are Screwing me up, am getting oh so hormonal at times, this is really scaring me now.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Monday 11 November 2013
11-11-2013
Attended Remembrance again yesterday, met up with Toffee again, also saw Andy, that I haven't seen since '94, and also CJ, CJ was on attachment anyway after I got back in '93, so barely saw him after amalgamation, but still was good. Did march past, then immediate RV at the Sherlock Holmes, well J was there wasn't she. Was only supposed to be a quick one for us, but..........
If your looking on BBC Iplayer, you'll see me at 1.39, while its still on there.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Attended Remembrance again yesterday, met up with Toffee again, also saw Andy, that I haven't seen since '94, and also CJ, CJ was on attachment anyway after I got back in '93, so barely saw him after amalgamation, but still was good. Did march past, then immediate RV at the Sherlock Holmes, well J was there wasn't she. Was only supposed to be a quick one for us, but..........
If your looking on BBC Iplayer, you'll see me at 1.39, while its still on there.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Monday 28 October 2013
28-10-2013
Have just had a totally Orgasmic Weekend, Was Erotica again, we were called in again, and yet again, we embarrassed the main bars, those in the cellar with us, were dead.
Got told repeatedly how sexy I was, more than once , some never realised I was trans till I opened my mouth? Massive Vanessa was there again, 6'6", in her bare feet, and she was wearing heels, Holly was there too, but this time she had a gentle toy with her, just a flogger, a soft Cat O'nine, with suede whips on it.
Donna was there too, it appears she has a Circus history, as not only is she a fire breather, she's bull whip cracker, the she was cracking that whip was so beautiful, then seeing her in a crop top, skirt, mmmmmmmmmmm, oh so sexy. Then just seeing the girls too. 'Chelle, one of the staff from last time, was there again, after she found out about my planned surgery, she went and got me a vibrator for afterwards, she must have checked things too, as it isn't too big though, can't wait.
As you can tell, was a totally FANTASTIC weekend. So a MEGA BIG thank you, to all you girls out there, and the odd Guy too?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Have just had a totally Orgasmic Weekend, Was Erotica again, we were called in again, and yet again, we embarrassed the main bars, those in the cellar with us, were dead.
Got told repeatedly how sexy I was, more than once , some never realised I was trans till I opened my mouth? Massive Vanessa was there again, 6'6", in her bare feet, and she was wearing heels, Holly was there too, but this time she had a gentle toy with her, just a flogger, a soft Cat O'nine, with suede whips on it.
As you can tell, was a totally FANTASTIC weekend. So a MEGA BIG thank you, to all you girls out there, and the odd Guy too?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Saturday 12 October 2013
12-10-2013
Have just got an awesome surprise today. Who remembers 'My Transgender Summer', from about 2-3 years ago, it appears, one of the girls, is called Donna, as is my hair dresser. Yes, knew This Donna was trans too, but never knew she had done this programme, my memory Is never what it was, so there was no way I would think that I would have this girl, as a friend, but yes, I know her. So, Donna, when you read this, I had to mention you, sorry?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Have just got an awesome surprise today. Who remembers 'My Transgender Summer', from about 2-3 years ago, it appears, one of the girls, is called Donna, as is my hair dresser. Yes, knew This Donna was trans too, but never knew she had done this programme, my memory Is never what it was, so there was no way I would think that I would have this girl, as a friend, but yes, I know her. So, Donna, when you read this, I had to mention you, sorry?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Wednesday 9 October 2013
09-10-2013
God, things are really screwing me up, yes I love J, but, I need my fun too, with S. is 5 months now, but am still waiting, am wondering about D, am I really his bit on the side, even though we haven't and won't yet, do anything, but the fact is, he is on my mind a lot, but he's a man, I'm a lesbian, what am I supposed to do, but, I do need a man, to take my virginity?
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God, things are really screwing me up, yes I love J, but, I need my fun too, with S. is 5 months now, but am still waiting, am wondering about D, am I really his bit on the side, even though we haven't and won't yet, do anything, but the fact is, he is on my mind a lot, but he's a man, I'm a lesbian, what am I supposed to do, but, I do need a man, to take my virginity?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 4 October 2013
05-10-2013
Keep getting told, that I should forget about my previous life, as Oman. However, that is one of main programming's that has created Amanda, as she is, a bit like the Holo Deck programme from Star Trek, sounds corney I know, but am a complete new woman, that has been created from the woman within, lets be serious, could a genetic woman decide on her future, as I can?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Keep getting told, that I should forget about my previous life, as Oman. However, that is one of main programming's that has created Amanda, as she is, a bit like the Holo Deck programme from Star Trek, sounds corney I know, but am a complete new woman, that has been created from the woman within, lets be serious, could a genetic woman decide on her future, as I can?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
04-10-2013
Totally unrelated to anything this blog is about, but, major news today, the Regiment was in receipt of 6 medals today, Former CO, was up graded from an OBE, to an MBE, one of the other medals, was a combat zone medal, 1 grade below a VC, a Queens Gallantry Medal, quite a few lads in the regiment have those now. Makes ya feel damn proud, to be connected to such an awesome Regiment
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Totally unrelated to anything this blog is about, but, major news today, the Regiment was in receipt of 6 medals today, Former CO, was up graded from an OBE, to an MBE, one of the other medals, was a combat zone medal, 1 grade below a VC, a Queens Gallantry Medal, quite a few lads in the regiment have those now. Makes ya feel damn proud, to be connected to such an awesome Regiment
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 29 September 2013
29-09-2013
Have just received a mail, of D, that caused me indirect confusion. He caused me to think back, on how I had thought about things and people. I had alway's thought, that before, I was only interested in women, but looking back, over things, over people, that one or two people may have caused me, to think about sexuality, to whether or not it was women or men I was interested in. So have realised, that maybe, even then, back in Sunny Detmold, when I looked at D, it may have been for other reasons.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Have just received a mail, of D, that caused me indirect confusion. He caused me to think back, on how I had thought about things and people. I had alway's thought, that before, I was only interested in women, but looking back, over things, over people, that one or two people may have caused me, to think about sexuality, to whether or not it was women or men I was interested in. So have realised, that maybe, even then, back in Sunny Detmold, when I looked at D, it may have been for other reasons.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Saturday 28 September 2013
28-09-2013
Yesterday, I forgot to take my HRT, in the Morning. The effect are oh so scary, I get oh so emotional. was thinking about D all day, this Is weird, we haven't seen each other since Germany, even then, yes we knew other, but were never close, the thing with D, he's alway's seemed to have barriers up, We get back in contact, I was open about everything, hell, would be difficult to hide anything about me wouldn't it. I know its been over 2 years since I was involved with a guy, back then it was purely sexual, never anything emotional, only person I've been emotional with was and is J. So why the hell am I getting emo about a guy I haven't seen in nearly 20 year's?
After the way I have been feeling over the last couple of day's, I may suddenly add, after I have posted, why, because the next couple of months are going to OH so intense for me, as I countdown to my Surgery. Not many actually realise how serious a surgery GRS is. Imagine the 2 main arteries in the body being redirected, cut, then con-joined, then approximately 4-8oz of human flesh being removed, then about 10 inches of flesh being con-joined again, in an area that flesh isn't. One part of the body becoming 2, then being placed, approximately 5-7inches from where it was meant to be, Following Video contains Human Surgery
.http://uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqItdVkdSzRcAp1p2BQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg--?p=gender+reassignment+surgery&vid=9ebf483092497ab318a4fc03dcf40868&l=7%3A30&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4858532592878068%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBjqlcLCiU2Q&tit=New+refinements+in+Male-to-Female+reassignment+surgery&c=1&sigr=11a347nhi&age=0&&tt=b
Have wanted to add at some stage, this was the only time that it would be correct.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Yesterday, I forgot to take my HRT, in the Morning. The effect are oh so scary, I get oh so emotional. was thinking about D all day, this Is weird, we haven't seen each other since Germany, even then, yes we knew other, but were never close, the thing with D, he's alway's seemed to have barriers up, We get back in contact, I was open about everything, hell, would be difficult to hide anything about me wouldn't it. I know its been over 2 years since I was involved with a guy, back then it was purely sexual, never anything emotional, only person I've been emotional with was and is J. So why the hell am I getting emo about a guy I haven't seen in nearly 20 year's?
After the way I have been feeling over the last couple of day's, I may suddenly add, after I have posted, why, because the next couple of months are going to OH so intense for me, as I countdown to my Surgery. Not many actually realise how serious a surgery GRS is. Imagine the 2 main arteries in the body being redirected, cut, then con-joined, then approximately 4-8oz of human flesh being removed, then about 10 inches of flesh being con-joined again, in an area that flesh isn't. One part of the body becoming 2, then being placed, approximately 5-7inches from where it was meant to be, Following Video contains Human Surgery
.http://uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqItdVkdSzRcAp1p2BQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg--?p=gender+reassignment+surgery&vid=9ebf483092497ab318a4fc03dcf40868&l=7%3A30&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4858532592878068%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBjqlcLCiU2Q&tit=New+refinements+in+Male-to-Female+reassignment+surgery&c=1&sigr=11a347nhi&age=0&&tt=b
Have wanted to add at some stage, this was the only time that it would be correct.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Thursday 26 September 2013
26-09-2013
Ah well, I guess I had better start plans in another direction. find out whether or not they are actually free from any hindrances, I meant, not likely to cause upset in anyway. That the last thing I have wanted in my life, to hurt anybody, as that is the last thing I have ever wanted, to be hurt. But then, is one of the few Christian Morales I have lived by, but is in fact one of the greatest morals of the Muslim Faith too, Do Unto Others, As You Would Them Unto You, things would be oh so much easier, if we all lived by those same morals too?
I guess that should also teach me, that not all males drop all at a drop of a hat, for the chance of sex, as I was saying before, would have been interesting with D, could be that we ended up naked in bed, then just laughing our heads of at the Lads from the regiment, how most have been completely ok about the new me. All but those 3 idiots, hope fully that main idiot won't be at Remembrance again, but hey, am I worried, he couldn't hurt me at DT or PB, sure as hell can't hurt me now?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Ah well, I guess I had better start plans in another direction. find out whether or not they are actually free from any hindrances, I meant, not likely to cause upset in anyway. That the last thing I have wanted in my life, to hurt anybody, as that is the last thing I have ever wanted, to be hurt. But then, is one of the few Christian Morales I have lived by, but is in fact one of the greatest morals of the Muslim Faith too, Do Unto Others, As You Would Them Unto You, things would be oh so much easier, if we all lived by those same morals too?
I guess that should also teach me, that not all males drop all at a drop of a hat, for the chance of sex, as I was saying before, would have been interesting with D, could be that we ended up naked in bed, then just laughing our heads of at the Lads from the regiment, how most have been completely ok about the new me. All but those 3 idiots, hope fully that main idiot won't be at Remembrance again, but hey, am I worried, he couldn't hurt me at DT or PB, sure as hell can't hurt me now?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Tuesday 24 September 2013
25-09-2013
Ah well, I went and told him. Doh, he's married, and yes I think that's what it may have been, the higher level of understanding, of the pressures, we have had to face, the level of understanding. But, he didn't say it wouldn't happen though? But D, you know full well I won't come in between you both? There I mentioned him??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Ah well, I went and told him. Doh, he's married, and yes I think that's what it may have been, the higher level of understanding, of the pressures, we have had to face, the level of understanding. But, he didn't say it wouldn't happen though? But D, you know full well I won't come in between you both? There I mentioned him??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
24-09-2013
OMG, weird time again, a certain somebody is getting in even more contact, can't say who it is, as he will quickly realise , that he is one of the 2 possible's, that'll take my virginity, be the only guy? But why is it, why are the 2 possibles, both ex forces, is it because of my history too, knowing that I won't hurt them, physically or emotionally, both have the strength to handle my emotion's. God, getting weird again, worrying about other people emotions, or did I?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
OMG, weird time again, a certain somebody is getting in even more contact, can't say who it is, as he will quickly realise , that he is one of the 2 possible's, that'll take my virginity, be the only guy? But why is it, why are the 2 possibles, both ex forces, is it because of my history too, knowing that I won't hurt them, physically or emotionally, both have the strength to handle my emotion's. God, getting weird again, worrying about other people emotions, or did I?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 22 September 2013
22-09-2013
Things are getting oh so much weirder, but from a different angle, yes, am awaiting GRS, however, that may make me physically a woman, but will alway's legally, be a male. Oh so need to get GRC'd, to get all my documentation feminised, sounds stupid, but the one piece, I want changing most of all, is my NI Number, because once I have that, means I have my new birth certificate, and that means the new life for Amanda Maroulis, a new beginning?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are getting oh so much weirder, but from a different angle, yes, am awaiting GRS, however, that may make me physically a woman, but will alway's legally, be a male. Oh so need to get GRC'd, to get all my documentation feminised, sounds stupid, but the one piece, I want changing most of all, is my NI Number, because once I have that, means I have my new birth certificate, and that means the new life for Amanda Maroulis, a new beginning?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 15 September 2013
15-09-2013
Things are starting to get complicated for me, as much as I love J, and god I do, I need some attention too, I need to be given hugs, and kisses and stuff, is oh so difficult having to ask for them all the time, hilarious part is, I'm oh so not bothered about the physical side of things, but the emotional side, I do need that?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are starting to get complicated for me, as much as I love J, and god I do, I need some attention too, I need to be given hugs, and kisses and stuff, is oh so difficult having to ask for them all the time, hilarious part is, I'm oh so not bothered about the physical side of things, but the emotional side, I do need that?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 13 September 2013
13-09-2013
I don't believe it, I thought I would be ok about waiting, have been given the go ahead, will be getting the surgery I so need, but no, I want it tomorrow. going off to parents in a mo, will see if I have any post, grab my brush, so doubt I'll be having a date yet, even for meeting with Mr B, just hope I get it in London, not Briton, so that those closest can visit?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
I don't believe it, I thought I would be ok about waiting, have been given the go ahead, will be getting the surgery I so need, but no, I want it tomorrow. going off to parents in a mo, will see if I have any post, grab my brush, so doubt I'll be having a date yet, even for meeting with Mr B, just hope I get it in London, not Briton, so that those closest can visit?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Monday 9 September 2013
09-09-2013
Barely a week since I get my go ahead for my surgery, was in CX again today, and find out, might only be a 6 month wait. A 6 month wait till my outy reversed into an inny, admittedly am shitting myself, but it has to be done, I have to be who I should be. But still, so need it to be done?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Barely a week since I get my go ahead for my surgery, was in CX again today, and find out, might only be a 6 month wait. A 6 month wait till my outy reversed into an inny, admittedly am shitting myself, but it has to be done, I have to be who I should be. But still, so need it to be done?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 6 September 2013
06-09-2013
Things are weird at the mo, more and more, whilst just sat on the sofa, am giving myself a run through, of having sex, I know I was doing it before I received my go ahead, but still. Am hoping it won't be a long wait till I get a surgery date, but is still a 9 moth wait afterwards, till I can lose my virginity, ridiculous I know, as I won't have a hymen, but, will still be the first time a penis enters my vagina, I know I've never mentioned post GRS really before, but that was because, will I ever get the go ahead, will I get my surgery. I know I should still consider that I won't, but have received the go ahead, will only be something major to stop that happening.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Things are weird at the mo, more and more, whilst just sat on the sofa, am giving myself a run through, of having sex, I know I was doing it before I received my go ahead, but still. Am hoping it won't be a long wait till I get a surgery date, but is still a 9 moth wait afterwards, till I can lose my virginity, ridiculous I know, as I won't have a hymen, but, will still be the first time a penis enters my vagina, I know I've never mentioned post GRS really before, but that was because, will I ever get the go ahead, will I get my surgery. I know I should still consider that I won't, but have received the go ahead, will only be something major to stop that happening.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Tuesday 3 September 2013
02-09-2013
Just received some fantastic news this morning, whilst on my visit to the Clinic down at CX, have officially received my second signature, to say that in, the Considered Opinion, of 2 fully qualified Shrinks, am considered mentally stable enough to go through with my Gender Re-assignment Surgery, Me, Mentally Stable??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Just received some fantastic news this morning, whilst on my visit to the Clinic down at CX, have officially received my second signature, to say that in, the Considered Opinion, of 2 fully qualified Shrinks, am considered mentally stable enough to go through with my Gender Re-assignment Surgery, Me, Mentally Stable??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Sunday 1 September 2013
01-09-2013
OK, am back in London, got back last night, then straight for dinner in China Town. After just getting on the bus, and sitting down, I notice L, from Sports Direct, haven't seen her for months, lovely girl, pity she used to be a monkey, but still, a lovely girl?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
OK, am back in London, got back last night, then straight for dinner in China Town. After just getting on the bus, and sitting down, I notice L, from Sports Direct, haven't seen her for months, lovely girl, pity she used to be a monkey, but still, a lovely girl?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Friday 30 August 2013
30-08-2013
Well, been here a week, off today, had some piccies done the other day, then, as I was downloading them to here, deleted from the camera, before I had actually transferred to here, sorry D, nothing to warm you up on your chilly Afghan nights??? As per usual. been chatting to loads of peeps, 2 lovely peeps were a couple from the midlands, L and D, lovely couple of woman, and are still uber loved up, even after 30 months, surviving the 5 kids they have between them too, me and J are complaining with C???
Back to Taunton later for the night, then back to London tomorrow, and Chingford on Tuesday,if anything happens, might tell you???
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Well, been here a week, off today, had some piccies done the other day, then, as I was downloading them to here, deleted from the camera, before I had actually transferred to here, sorry D, nothing to warm you up on your chilly Afghan nights??? As per usual. been chatting to loads of peeps, 2 lovely peeps were a couple from the midlands, L and D, lovely couple of woman, and are still uber loved up, even after 30 months, surviving the 5 kids they have between them too, me and J are complaining with C???
Back to Taunton later for the night, then back to London tomorrow, and Chingford on Tuesday,if anything happens, might tell you???
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Saturday 24 August 2013
24-08-2013
Am down in Somerset at the mo, on our way down to Haven, on Monday, yet again. Just been down to the Wagon, surprisingly, my first visit, considering have been down here since Thursday. G was down there, as per usual? got chatting to a lovely woman called M, that was also at E and N's wedding all those years ago. we had giggle, M turned to G to ask what I was like, G then screwed up, ' I've known him from when He was a She', loved it, Also saw JD yesterday in town, surprisingly she recognised me straight away, was probably because J was with me. Told her to give my love to everyone down at Conquest.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Am down in Somerset at the mo, on our way down to Haven, on Monday, yet again. Just been down to the Wagon, surprisingly, my first visit, considering have been down here since Thursday. G was down there, as per usual? got chatting to a lovely woman called M, that was also at E and N's wedding all those years ago. we had giggle, M turned to G to ask what I was like, G then screwed up, ' I've known him from when He was a She', loved it, Also saw JD yesterday in town, surprisingly she recognised me straight away, was probably because J was with me. Told her to give my love to everyone down at Conquest.
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Monday 19 August 2013
19-08-2013
Have just had an awesome day, and its just gone 5 pm. We decided to give C something different today, decided to go Ice Skating, ok, I've been before, but not for ages, about 13 years infact, I know it has to be about that, as it was before I met J, God and I am so out of practice, with skating?
Kept wiping out, worst part is, my hips are killing me too, as well as my ears, as I met 3 nutcases, from a school in Bow, M, S. and D, there was another teacher with them, and she was oh so yummy too, and oh so untouchable too. So D, when you see this, as you said you would, Pffffffft, you are mentioned?
Amanda you are a nutcase I only wish we had longer with you. M and S say hi and missing your antics and funny stories. Say hi to C And J will continue to read your blogs xxx PS its D from ice skating just in case you thing it's some random nutter commenting xxx
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Have just had an awesome day, and its just gone 5 pm. We decided to give C something different today, decided to go Ice Skating, ok, I've been before, but not for ages, about 13 years infact, I know it has to be about that, as it was before I met J, God and I am so out of practice, with skating?
Kept wiping out, worst part is, my hips are killing me too, as well as my ears, as I met 3 nutcases, from a school in Bow, M, S. and D, there was another teacher with them, and she was oh so yummy too, and oh so untouchable too. So D, when you see this, as you said you would, Pffffffft, you are mentioned?
Amanda you are a nutcase I only wish we had longer with you. M and S say hi and missing your antics and funny stories. Say hi to C And J will continue to read your blogs xxx PS its D from ice skating just in case you thing it's some random nutter commenting xxx
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Saturday 17 August 2013
17-08-2013
Well, got blood test results, T and E, both not fantastic, but still OK for now. Also, am beginning to realise, I should keep my mouth shut, about being trans, as now, for the second time, somebody has been surprised when I have said that I'm trans?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Well, got blood test results, T and E, both not fantastic, but still OK for now. Also, am beginning to realise, I should keep my mouth shut, about being trans, as now, for the second time, somebody has been surprised when I have said that I'm trans?
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Wednesday 14 August 2013
14-08-2013
Is a crazy time at the mo for me. Have just had to have another Blood test, I know, I should be used to them, but this time, the Plebotomist(?) mucked up the test, and my oestrogen was down to the 300's, so had to get a retest, as she missed out on other tests to be done too. So, in next couple of day's, so, have to go and pick up results, in the next couple of day's, so, am just panicking, that I'll have to go to CX again, see E, to find out why, as also, my bits below have been getting swollen, no, not erection's, just swollen. Does this mean that I'll have to increase my HRT Dosage??
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current or future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
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